Post by DM on Feb 25, 2014 19:15:40 GMT
Tales From The Beard by Coren Lyrefast (c. 580DR)
The Miner’s Lament
In dust and stone of silver we take
With pick and shovel and backs that we break
To find our way onwards into Shanatar’s old heart
And fill up our barrows in Dumathoin’s dark
Give us our steel and our mithril and gold
A dwarf is a miner from birth until old
Loosen the rocks and crumble the stone
When my digging days are done cairn out my bones
To stone is our blood and the stone is our skin
Hardened by toil and gemstones within
We dig till we’re dead and our picks no longer chime
But our voices will echo until the end of time
Dwarven Drinking Song
Gather thee dwarves, there’s cause for a bash
Tap all caskets and find us your stash
Who calls the round? Whose wallet is heavy?
How many pints can this tummy here levy?
Beer, cider, spirits and ales
Listen to the drunk dwarf tell his tall tales
Loosen your belts, cups in the air
The liquor flows free and the barrels won’t care
And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!
Hoorah!
Pour another cup, mine appears to be dry
Don’t say there’s no more or a dwarf might cry
All sing along now and sway side to side
No single voice is too ugly to hide
Cheer all ye up, no reason to look grim
There’s no need for dwarven waistlines to be slim
Never mind the weak-stomached one’s snore
Full round bellies make grave spirits soar!
And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!
Hoorah!
By Clangeddin’s beard, another two glasses
Didn’t those bosoms just grow on them lasses?
Sweet lady friend mine, won’t you join me?
My lap is empty and the brandy’s for free
Sorry love, didn’t mean to be rude
No telling the stories when a dwarf’s in the mood
But truth be told I’d not ever chose you
Over a pint of my sweet sacred brew
And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!
Hoorah!
Was that a pink elephant that just flew past?
Funny the shadows that cider kegs cast!
Pardon that noise, didn’t mean to offend
There’s no hic-up a bloody good belch won’t mend
Laughing eyes wat’ry and heads a’ swimming
Look at your red nose dwarf! And stop that grinning!
We’ll stack them mugs unto the ceiling
Of their seats the dwarves are keeling
And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!
Hoorah!
The Balor is Dead
Some say the Balor is dead, the Balor is dead, the Balor is dead
some say the Balor is dead and buried in Lyrabar
more say he rose again, more say he rose again, more say he rose again
And joined the Elvish army
Forger’s Farewell
When my time is up and my hammer falls down
My steel doesn’t bend and I no longer frown
My beard goes dusty and my bones do not crack
And my tongs remain hung on the forgemaster’s rack
Don’t be sad for me when I no longer work
For the Mordinsaman call for me to fest in their halls
We’ll wear mithril crowns and heft adamantine mauls
They’ll mine all the day and bring me pure ore to smelt
The coals will burn hotter than all the nine hells
When they visit my cairn they’ll sing of my craft
The keenest of edges and the strongest of hafts
So don’t mourn my passing this forger’s grown tired and old
Just promise me that my forge will never grow cold
Stack the stone high place my tools on the top
This Forger’s work is done now farewell, that’s yer lot
A Pick on Mah Shoulder
I got a pick on mah shoulder,
So drunk I can't hold er'
I've got some stout in my beard,
And a mug fulla beer!
But this dwarf went to work, with a gal shaped like granite,
He got so smashed it felt like he'd been hit by a mallet!
And he stuck his pick through an old stone wall,
but behind all that stone was a big waterfall
Which washed his gal away
It coulda ruined his day
But a dwarf is a dwarf,
Only a coward would jump off a wharf!
But lady Urist gave a shriek in the tunnels of night,
She had suffered a terrible fright!
the tentacle demon grabbed her leg,
She whacked it with a keg!
A Fightin’ Man
(Chorus)
Who's to say that I should be,
That I should be a fightin' man,
Oh who's to say that I should fight
When I could be a CRAF-TER!
Who's to say that I should be,
That I should be a fightin' man,
Oh who's to say that I should fight,
That we should fight at all!
Who's to say that I should be
A great screamin' berser-ker
When I could be
The lucky lad whose song gets all the girls!
Oh who's to say that I should be
An e-lephant hun-ter
When I could be
The lucky lad with Tusks upon his wall!
(Chorus)
Who's to say that I should be
An al-ligator wrest-ler
When I could be
The lucky lad with brand new leather boots
Oh who's to say that I should be
An orc-beheading axe-dwarf
When I could be
The lucky lad who makes his skull a cup!
(Chorus)
Who's to say that I should be
A carp-crushin' mace-dwarf
When I could be
The lucky lad who carves the fish filet!
Oh who's to say that I should be
A kobold-killin' marks-dwarf
When I could be
The lucky lad who’s treasures brought him here!
(Chorus)
Dwarves Under The Mountain
This is the story of a dwarf,
who could run fast and travel far.
In his legendary travels,
we'll follow him, beer in hand.
(Chorus):
We are the dwarves under the mountain!
We dig at day, we drink at night,
and we don't like surface-dwellers.
One day, my ancestor Gurdil,
was sent to dig up in the forest.
It was said there was Mithril,
If there was we never found it.
He built his cabin just beside
a thick wood filled with high elves.
Of course, people who eat grass,
never make good neighbours.
(Chorus)
"Back off, you are not welcome here!
The elves told him, while throwing rocks.
Seeing everything was falling to shit
He ran away following the river.
He was found by fairies
Covered with bruises, lying on the bank.
Rainwater was given to him,
He spit it all (Pwah!), all back in their faces!
(Chorus)
Running through the bushes,
He came to a human town.
Of course they sold beer!
But no man would serve a dwarf.
Gurdil slaughtered the owner
of the tavern, using a nearby stool.
Then, he travelled back home,
and from the mine, he never ever left!
(Chorus)
Friends, let's stay in our shelters,
Let's eat, let's drink in our stone homes.
Up there, it's filled with dumbasses.
Come on, bardwarf! Serve us another beer!
For The Clan
For the clan
We will fight to the last man
For our homes
We all fight, even the gnomes
(Chorus)
Raise your hammer
Sharpen your axe
Prepare for the clamour
And the bloodiest of acts
For life and limb
A battle dark and grim
(Chorus)
We go to war
We’ll be covered in gore
For we swore
We’ll fight and die
With a mighty battle cry
(Chorus)
Though the dead my rise
And the dragon flies
We look to our allies
And to no surprise
We’ve seen their demise
So we grasp at the warrior’s prize
(Chorus)
The din of battle loud
Our warriors stand proud
To carry the day
To see our enemies dismay
As we keep them at bay
(Chorus)
And if we shall die
You should know why
We gave our life
To end the strife in Shanatar’s name!
The Miner’s Lament
In dust and stone of silver we take
With pick and shovel and backs that we break
To find our way onwards into Shanatar’s old heart
And fill up our barrows in Dumathoin’s dark
Give us our steel and our mithril and gold
A dwarf is a miner from birth until old
Loosen the rocks and crumble the stone
When my digging days are done cairn out my bones
To stone is our blood and the stone is our skin
Hardened by toil and gemstones within
We dig till we’re dead and our picks no longer chime
But our voices will echo until the end of time
Dwarven Drinking Song
Gather thee dwarves, there’s cause for a bash
Tap all caskets and find us your stash
Who calls the round? Whose wallet is heavy?
How many pints can this tummy here levy?
Beer, cider, spirits and ales
Listen to the drunk dwarf tell his tall tales
Loosen your belts, cups in the air
The liquor flows free and the barrels won’t care
And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!
Hoorah!
Pour another cup, mine appears to be dry
Don’t say there’s no more or a dwarf might cry
All sing along now and sway side to side
No single voice is too ugly to hide
Cheer all ye up, no reason to look grim
There’s no need for dwarven waistlines to be slim
Never mind the weak-stomached one’s snore
Full round bellies make grave spirits soar!
And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!
Hoorah!
By Clangeddin’s beard, another two glasses
Didn’t those bosoms just grow on them lasses?
Sweet lady friend mine, won’t you join me?
My lap is empty and the brandy’s for free
Sorry love, didn’t mean to be rude
No telling the stories when a dwarf’s in the mood
But truth be told I’d not ever chose you
Over a pint of my sweet sacred brew
And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!
Hoorah!
Was that a pink elephant that just flew past?
Funny the shadows that cider kegs cast!
Pardon that noise, didn’t mean to offend
There’s no hic-up a bloody good belch won’t mend
Laughing eyes wat’ry and heads a’ swimming
Look at your red nose dwarf! And stop that grinning!
We’ll stack them mugs unto the ceiling
Of their seats the dwarves are keeling
And all call:
O, ho, finish in one
Down, down
Until it’s all gone!
Hoorah!
The Balor is Dead
Some say the Balor is dead, the Balor is dead, the Balor is dead
some say the Balor is dead and buried in Lyrabar
more say he rose again, more say he rose again, more say he rose again
And joined the Elvish army
Forger’s Farewell
When my time is up and my hammer falls down
My steel doesn’t bend and I no longer frown
My beard goes dusty and my bones do not crack
And my tongs remain hung on the forgemaster’s rack
Don’t be sad for me when I no longer work
For the Mordinsaman call for me to fest in their halls
We’ll wear mithril crowns and heft adamantine mauls
They’ll mine all the day and bring me pure ore to smelt
The coals will burn hotter than all the nine hells
When they visit my cairn they’ll sing of my craft
The keenest of edges and the strongest of hafts
So don’t mourn my passing this forger’s grown tired and old
Just promise me that my forge will never grow cold
Stack the stone high place my tools on the top
This Forger’s work is done now farewell, that’s yer lot
A Pick on Mah Shoulder
I got a pick on mah shoulder,
So drunk I can't hold er'
I've got some stout in my beard,
And a mug fulla beer!
But this dwarf went to work, with a gal shaped like granite,
He got so smashed it felt like he'd been hit by a mallet!
And he stuck his pick through an old stone wall,
but behind all that stone was a big waterfall
Which washed his gal away
It coulda ruined his day
But a dwarf is a dwarf,
Only a coward would jump off a wharf!
But lady Urist gave a shriek in the tunnels of night,
She had suffered a terrible fright!
the tentacle demon grabbed her leg,
She whacked it with a keg!
A Fightin’ Man
(Chorus)
Who's to say that I should be,
That I should be a fightin' man,
Oh who's to say that I should fight
When I could be a CRAF-TER!
Who's to say that I should be,
That I should be a fightin' man,
Oh who's to say that I should fight,
That we should fight at all!
Who's to say that I should be
A great screamin' berser-ker
When I could be
The lucky lad whose song gets all the girls!
Oh who's to say that I should be
An e-lephant hun-ter
When I could be
The lucky lad with Tusks upon his wall!
(Chorus)
Who's to say that I should be
An al-ligator wrest-ler
When I could be
The lucky lad with brand new leather boots
Oh who's to say that I should be
An orc-beheading axe-dwarf
When I could be
The lucky lad who makes his skull a cup!
(Chorus)
Who's to say that I should be
A carp-crushin' mace-dwarf
When I could be
The lucky lad who carves the fish filet!
Oh who's to say that I should be
A kobold-killin' marks-dwarf
When I could be
The lucky lad who’s treasures brought him here!
(Chorus)
Dwarves Under The Mountain
This is the story of a dwarf,
who could run fast and travel far.
In his legendary travels,
we'll follow him, beer in hand.
(Chorus):
We are the dwarves under the mountain!
We dig at day, we drink at night,
and we don't like surface-dwellers.
One day, my ancestor Gurdil,
was sent to dig up in the forest.
It was said there was Mithril,
If there was we never found it.
He built his cabin just beside
a thick wood filled with high elves.
Of course, people who eat grass,
never make good neighbours.
(Chorus)
"Back off, you are not welcome here!
The elves told him, while throwing rocks.
Seeing everything was falling to shit
He ran away following the river.
He was found by fairies
Covered with bruises, lying on the bank.
Rainwater was given to him,
He spit it all (Pwah!), all back in their faces!
(Chorus)
Running through the bushes,
He came to a human town.
Of course they sold beer!
But no man would serve a dwarf.
Gurdil slaughtered the owner
of the tavern, using a nearby stool.
Then, he travelled back home,
and from the mine, he never ever left!
(Chorus)
Friends, let's stay in our shelters,
Let's eat, let's drink in our stone homes.
Up there, it's filled with dumbasses.
Come on, bardwarf! Serve us another beer!
For The Clan
For the clan
We will fight to the last man
For our homes
We all fight, even the gnomes
(Chorus)
Raise your hammer
Sharpen your axe
Prepare for the clamour
And the bloodiest of acts
For life and limb
A battle dark and grim
(Chorus)
We go to war
We’ll be covered in gore
For we swore
We’ll fight and die
With a mighty battle cry
(Chorus)
Though the dead my rise
And the dragon flies
We look to our allies
And to no surprise
We’ve seen their demise
So we grasp at the warrior’s prize
(Chorus)
The din of battle loud
Our warriors stand proud
To carry the day
To see our enemies dismay
As we keep them at bay
(Chorus)
And if we shall die
You should know why
We gave our life
To end the strife in Shanatar’s name!